13th May

Bloody computers. If all inanimate objects are put on this earth to obstruct and irritate (and they surely are), then computers are the generals of this vile army. Last night, when I opened the laptop in the loft and hit the ‘on’ button, I was faced with one of those technical messages consisting of heavy text on a black screen. Something along the lines of ‘This computer cannot boot due to a recent change in software or hardware. Please contact your IT support team or the manufacturer or the Samaritans’. It was only the sleeping baby the floor below and an in-built respect for material possessions that prevented me from hurling the thing against the wall.

Without access to my work-in-progress manuscript (no, of course I didn’t save a back-up copy!), and after allowing myself several minutes of screaming “fuck fuck fucking fuck!” into a pillow, I resolved to use my anger productively. And so it was that I introduced a brand new character to the novel. The villain. Power-crazed, sadistic, brutal, the architect of a gargantuan empire based on fear. A woman, too, red-headed in honour of my beautiful wife who might, I suspect, have been hoping for a tribute character without quite so many flaws.

The main thing for me is that I wrote at all yesterday. Life isn’t linear and plans have a habit of shifting like tidal sands. While it’s important to stick broadly to routines, timetables and schedules, it’s equally vital to find a way to create when things aren’t straightforward. Like doing press-ups in a tiny downstairs toilet.

My list of worries for next week is growing. How will I cope when I throw a full-time job back into the mix? Why am I not pushing my commercial writing CV to many potential employers? What if I’m unable to retrieve the manuscript from the knackered PC?

I think I’m going to ask my family to club together and buy me as a birthday gift a laptop that actually works. And a sledgehammer, in case of emergency.

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PS I’ve just tried to upload this to the blog. Said blog is currently down due to a technical issue. The machines are winning, I tell you.